"How well do you know your government?" 001

Whilst talking to a certain anonymous person about politics and such, I came to the conclusion that this person knew absolutely nothing about geography, let alone government. They thought Vancouver was the capital of Vermont and China shared a border along the Rio Lobo. In all actuality I should title this "How fucking stupid are you?"

To start off, Vancouver is in Canada. Say it with me: CAN-A-DA. Secondly, its on the West Coast, you know, where the Pacific Ocean is, and has way better weather than Vermont. If you go across said ocean you will find China, an ancient civilization now run by Communists and populated by over a billion, mostly poor, people. The Rio Lobo (which means Wolf River) is not the river that snakes across our southwest creating our southern border. It is the Rio Grande (which is neither a river nor grand) that makes up our border with the economically inferior Mexico.

Now that I got the Geography lesson out of the way, I will proceed to bigger issues at hand: Who is in charge of things? To answer that question, we must define things. A year ago I would have said "Oh, Hurricane relief? Well, that would be no one." Today its much the same. But the President still has fall guys. All presidents do.

The Vice President is a man named Dick. Dick Cheney, an energy man who once ran Halliburton. He served in the Wyoming House of Representatives and was Secretary of Defense under Bush Sr. He was not the first choice for the position then and had to be selected after the Senate rejected Bush's first nomination, John G. Tower. Tower is currently dead. One of the things Cheney did as Secretary of Defence was appoint Colin Powell Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. This would be a boon to both men as the Persian Gulf War I loomed in the following years. The two would benefit from their work during this conflict.

Cheney has had some issues since assuming office in 2001. Namely his continued ownership of Halliburton stocks. Halliburton gained notoriety after gaining many lucrative contracts in the feeding frenzy to rebuild Iraq. There was also a scandal involving the outing of an undercover, clandestine agent for the CIA named Valerie Plame. Her husband, Joseph Wilson, wrote a piece in the New York Times after the invasion of Iraq that was critical of President Bush. Allegedly, the Vice President gave orders to disclose the Valerie Plame's identity. As this act would endanger both Plame and National Security, it was, and still is, a delicate issue. Other controversies stem from 9/11 such as where Cheney was on the fateful day and where was he hidden. Another one is the closed door meetings that Cheney has conducted with several powerful heads of energy firms in hashing out energy policies. Moreover, earlier this year, the VP was the butt of many jokes after mistakenly shooting an associate while hunting quail.

Cheney is married to his high school sweetheart Lynne. They have two daughters, Elizabeth and Mary. Mary gained some fame during the 2004 Presidential race due to her sexual orientation. Cheney, a conservative, does belief the decision to allow same sex marriage should be resolved in individual states and not at the federal level.